From Cult Rehab to Ironman Starts: The Grit of Margie Allman

Brad Minus: And we're back with another episode of Life-Changing Challenges. Ladies and gentlemen, do I have a story for you? Well, actually our guest, Margie Alman, she has a story for you. Margie Alman has written a book that she is currently in the midst of getting published called Thus Sufferfest, how Sex, drugs and Triathlon Saved My Life. That's an interesting title.

So without further ado, Hey Margie, how you doing? 

Margie Allman: Hi, how are you? I'm good. 

Brad Minus: Oh my God, it's, such a pleasure and an honor, and I appreciate you joining us. But anyway, Margie, let's get started. Can you tell us a little bit about, your childhood, where did you grow up, what was the compliment of your family and what was it like to be Margie as a kid?

Margie Allman: Wow. The happiest times of my childhood were spent on a bayou in Panama City, Florida, where we grew up snorkeling and water skiing, it was the best time of my life, and I've kind of gotten myself back to that, which is the good part of the story.

I'm interested to know, I was born, unable to regulate my emotions. Low self-esteem, very insecure and shy and anxious. And I would like to know more about psychology personally, to know if it's possible to be born with low self-esteem or, what goes on there. I struggled and I was the youngest and I come from a very nice but conservative, family that believed you do what you're told and everything will be fine.

Everybody will be okay. And, it didn't work out for me that way. So, around the age of 14, I decided that I didn't, not only didn't like myself, I didn't like really anybody I knew I couldn't emulate my big sister who seemed to have life, you know, had a grip on it. So I turned to, I started turning to drugs and, not just drugs, but I had this need to be as extreme as possible, which I also served me when it came to triathlons.

But at that time it was very self uhde defeating. And I got in a lot of trouble. I did a lot of drugs and my parents chose, I'd say my dad chose to put me in a place called Straight Incorporated, which is one of those abusive institutions for troubled, they call it the troubled teen industry. It's attack therapy, it's verbal and physical abuse, which I got both of, and I was there for two years.

So yes, I learned how to be honest with myself, I learned to identify emotions. Something needed to be done at that time but no kid deserves that. And my parents were so brainwashed as well that when I turned 18, I said, I'm not doing this anymore. And my dad said, well, then you're on your own. So they took me to the airport in Florida.

I took me to get the money I'd earned when I was allowed to work outside of that place. I bought my own ticket and they said, see you in Atlanta. So that was probably a good lesson for me as far as figuring out how to function in the world when I had no tools. I had no skills. I couldn't even have a conversation without raising my hand telling you how I feel, asking to go to the bathroom.

So it was, I, it, it was kind of a nightmare position to be in. When I was in straight though, they would have, so I had started running, I was swimming as a kid. I started running when I was 12. I got my first set of weights when I was 12. So I knew what an outlet it was, fortunately already. And then like in straight, they'd have us do like bootcamp style calisthenics and I loved it.

And then when they put me in isolation for seven days before terminating me and I spent my time in there just doing calisthenics. I didn't have a clock, I didn't have a, couldn't read a book. 'cause in that place you're not allowed to read, watch tv, nothing. So I would just, 

Brad Minus: yeah. Wow. Let's step back a couple minutes, to like kind of get a better picture.

And I, I wanna get a picture of this. So first of all, mom and dad, brothers, sisters. 

Margie Allman: I have one older sister. She's been one of my biggest cheerleaders. 

Brad Minus: Oh, that's fantastic. And did she help you during these times when you were, not feeling, would you say you didn't have any self-esteem, you started to go to drugs and that type of thing.

Was she there to help you with that or try at least? No, 

Margie Allman: no. 

Brad Minus: No. Okay. 

Margie Allman: No, she was probably my first bully. You know, mom made her take care of me. And Tam's a my sister is, is, she's good at giving orders. She's bossy. I bought into it all, you know, 'cause I was this like, trembling little kid. When we become pre-teens and teenagers, she needed to break free of me, you know, so she was being a teenager and people were like, are you worried about your sister?

And she was like. Okay. I don't know. 

Brad Minus: So at the time it was basically sibling rivalry a little bit. You know what I mean? She didn't really wanna be with you, and you were too afraid to stand up to her.

Margie Allman: So we moved to Atlanta. I was outta my element. I did discover horses and I loved being outside horses. 

Brad Minus: How did you get involved with horses? 

Margie Allman: Well, my sister was the ballerina and that's what my parents put a lot of time and money into.

And I just, I guess when we moved to Atlanta and we didn't have the sea, the Bayou in our backyard and you know, maybe mom was like, what do you wanna do? And I had never been, well, my grandparents had horses, so I got to take riding lessons and that became my happy place. 

Brad Minus: Nice. But I 

Margie Allman: And I think it was financial. Like my parents were putting so much money into my sister's stuff that they reached a point where I couldn't take writing class lessons anymore. 

Brad Minus: What was your introduction to drugs?

Margie Allman: Actually, I took the pot from my sister's friend who was, who was spending the night, like she was a ballerina. There were the ballerinas. I'd gone to a concert with the ballerinas and they all smoked pot and sat there like they were all chill and into it. And so I kind of copied 'em and I was, but I was bored.

I mean, I was 13 years old. So, but once I, there was pot and then diet pills because I was also into being skinny. So I traded in my horse magazines pretty much for buying into this beauty thing. And I developed a little bit. I became pretty, and then there are expectations with Pretty, pretty is happy, pretty friendly, pretty does well, pretty, you know, how could you possibly be unhappy?

You're pretty, this is in the introduction of my book. It's a big expectation to live up to when you've already decided you're not gonna do this. Right. And those were the messages I was getting from at least my dad. He was a good guy, but he told us we weren't smart enough to get into a good coll college.

He felt like looks were superficial and they are, but my mom was from the south and looks was very important to them. It was just conflicting, what do I value? You know, I didn't live up to any of it. Like, I still felt like I was goofy with wire glasses and braces, and I saw what I looked like in the mirror, but that doesn't mean I felt that way on the inside.

I think that's the problem with being attractive sometimes. Right. It became important to be attractive to boys. And since I didn't have a personality or I didn't think I did, I. Put it all on looks and was mistreated. In high school I had some very, very bad experiences with boys.

I was raped when I was 15. 

Brad Minus: Oh God. 

Margie Allman: I think, you know, by the time they put me in straight, I was so unhappy. I cried a lot.

Brad Minus: Yeah. 

What, can you give us some of the, let's call 'em an incident of things that kind of led you, led your parents to thinking that you needed to go to a place like this? 

Margie Allman: I had been skipping school a lot. I had started running away from home. Mm-hmm. They caught me in bed with a guy that was much older than me.

He had given me a bunch of quaaludes, told me to leave my window unlocked. He came and snuck in my bedroom that night. 

Brad Minus: Wow. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. I think my mom was afraid I was gonna die and she told my dad he needed to figure something out 'cause I was in therapy,

which I don't think it did any good at that time. 'Cause they didn't know what my problem was either. And that's a quote from the psychiatrist. 

Brad Minus: Wow. Okay. Question and then we can kind of step into that. When they sent you there, I pretty much, as a teenager, I'm pretty positive that you thought it was, a punishment.

Margie Allman: Oh, I would. Yeah. That's how they treat you from the minute you walk in that door. We were on vacation at my dad's parents in Florida. On our way home, I knew we were going the wrong way. We pulled into a parking lot of like an old abandoned grocery store and my dad got outta the car and said, we're it straight?

So it was all a big surprise. You walk in the front door and all the staff members there, our teenagers who had been through the program, so a teenager comes out, they grab you by the back of your pants with their thumb through the belt loop and she carted me away. My sister's standing there like, and my parents won't look at me.

And then they take you in an intake room, which is white walls and puke colored carpet. And so you in a blue chair, everybody in straight, the blue chair is a thing. 'cause we spent so much time in those effing chairs and they're all hooked together. And they intake you.

You know, like, what drugs have you done? Do you skip school? Are you, attacking you? Like how many guys have you had sex with? Do you wanna be a slut? I mean, the whole thing is designed to be degrading. 

Brad Minus: Okay. 

Margie Allman: Then, go ahead. 

Brad Minus: Yeah, no. So my, the biggest question I thought was, do you now, as an adult, do you believe that your parents knew that that was what was gonna go on?

Margie Allman: Don't know. You know, like they had to go to an open meeting before they 

Brad Minus: took me there. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. And like this, the basis was Christianity and military and. So it was beat you down and then supposedly build you back up. And I think that part appealed to my dad.

'cause he was very old school military. 

Brad Minus: Mm-hmm. Okay. So, my question is that I'm thinking as a parent, you know, you're like, oh, I'm at the end of my wits. What do I do? I find this place that, connects with me and my Christianity, my military, blah, blah, blah.

And I'm thinking, okay, well I need to do something. I'm out of ideas. This sounds good. My biggest question was did they know that it was gonna be as bad as it was? Do you think that they did this more out of love?

Or was it just to. We just need to send her away and get rid of her for the time being. 

Margie Allman: I think my dad thought it was the best thing. 

Brad Minus: Okay. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. I mean, you think that he 

Brad Minus: He did it because he truly wanted you to get better. 

Margie Allman: I don't believe that my parents had any ill intent.

Okay. And I even asked him, you know, he never understood either why it stuck with me. Like, why didn't I get over it? And I even asked him, I was like, dad, you know, they sat on me like they put four girls on me and I thought I was gonna die. And he was like, well, they must have thought you needed to be sad.

Brad Minus: Oh my God. Okay. Alright. I mean, but you know, I can admit that you could get blinded, you know, by certain things and, you know, but that was the true answer. That was what I was looking for was, whether you thought that it was just like. They were just pushing you to the side, or they did this out of love.

'cause if they truly wanted you to get better, and that's the, that was the answer. They truly did want you to get better. They just didn't understand what this thing was. I mean, we've heard it a million times before, right? With those, the church, the like beat the gay outta you type things, you know what I mean?

Where they have the transition, you know, and they're like, oh, well you go to the camp, you'll no longer be gay, blah, blah, blah, blah. We've seen it to where it looks like it's, it's, you know, pray every day and God's gonna come over and he's gonna take this out of you. But really they're beating the kids and making them, you know, know, you know, making 'em do all this stuff.

So they indoctrinate you, put you in the blue chair, they ask you all these demeaning questions.

What happens? What happens after that? 

Margie Allman: So there's five phases in straight, okay? And for the first phase, you cannot speak. You're held onto by the back of the pants, with a thumb through your belt loop. You cannot speak, read, watch tv, listen to music, have any connection with the outside world. You spend every day inside that place, starting at whenever the people you're staying with, like if they lived far away.

So we all, we stayed at foster homes until we reached phase two, and then you could either go home or if you're outta state like I was, you were assigned a foster family. And you have to write moral inventories every single day of the whole time you're there. Three good points, three things to work on and things you're grateful for.

And then, so you can only speak by raising your hand even in the home. You cannot eat without asking permission. The whole thing is like designed to treat you like your piece of dirt. And you have to earn even a food privilege. So then second phase, you're still in group all day, but you have control over these first phasers.

You get to hold 'em by the back of the pants and watch 'em pee and everything is very controlled. So sleep deprivation, bathroom deprivation, sometimes food deprivation. 

Brad Minus: As consequences for things or not earning them 

Margie Allman: The going to the bathroom thing was, that was just a way of making you suck it up and stick it out.

Brad Minus: Mm-hmm. 

Margie Allman: So, yeah. 

Brad Minus: How long was the first phase? 

Margie Allman: I think my first phase was. Four or five months. 

Brad Minus: Four or five months. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. And I was there for a total of two years. 

Brad Minus: Five months I was here, I was thinking four or five weeks. Does like to get, I was thinking that you're just, all right, you're getting used to it.

This is the environment, blah, blah, blah. That's how you, but you said four or five months. Wow. Not speaking, having to, oh my God. So in phase two, then they kind of make you somewhat of a leader. 

Margie Allman: Yes. You get to enforce these degrading methods of whatever you wanna call it. Yeah.

Torture, but, you still can't watch TV or have any input from the outside world. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. 

Margie Allman: That doesn't come till phase three when you either go to work or you go to school. 

Brad Minus: So the first foster family, were they, did they have to adhere to the certain program?

Margie Allman: My, so I got a Foss when I hit phase two, that foster family. 

Brad Minus: Sure. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. I got to know 'em. And, but I mean, you still live within, rules, right? You can't go anywhere. They can't have alcohol in the house. Everything is locked at night. You have to have travel locks.

You're locked in the bedroom. So the family has to go along with it. 

Brad Minus: Oh, that's terrible. So, in phase two, you're not allowed to work? 

Margie Allman: No. 

Brad Minus: Okay. I can see a lot of this, you know, in order to make sure that you understand that good things happen when you behave. I don't understand you not allowing books now in like, even if they control the books, like it was all classics.

Like you had to read Huck Finn and Mark Twain and Charles Dickens and Shakespeare and stuff like that. Even if they controlled it to that way where you at least were well read and you had that at least something that I don't understand. 

Margie Allman: We could read the Bible.

Brad Minus: You could read the Bible. Wow, okay. I'm totally flabbergasted. There's just places like this out there. Let's just move on to phase three.

What, first of all, how long were you in phase two? 

Margie Allman: So I had some blips in there, so I was still in Florida Phase two. I made it to phase three since I was from Atlanta. They chose and they were gonna open a program there. I worked on my first phase three at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

So we also weren't allowed to listen to rock and roll, like there was some music that you were never allowed to listen to. And of course it's blasting at the KFC. And then I have this whole thing about am I gonna get in trouble because they're playing the druggie music. And also you tend to gain weight once you're like allowed access to food.

So that's when I started putting on weight. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. 

Margie Allman: I mean, 

Brad Minus: come on. 

Margie Allman: And you learn, like, that's when the moment I remember being there and eating one of those parfaits and realizing that it was comforting me. Like it was as good as a drug. I was, yeah. I had never had that sensation before.

So then we went, came back to Atlanta and I went back to high school for the first time. And that was the first time I ran away. I didn't go to my, oh yeah, I went to my old high school. That's the problem. They sent me to my old high school. And you're not supposed to talk to your friends.

You're supposed to say, I can't talk to you. Like teenagers don't do these things. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. 

Margie Allman: But, and, and, and I was, you know, you're not allowed to like care about your appearance when you're in a place like that. 'cause that's false I was just miserable. So I call, that time I, I may have left with a friend and so they went.

Then my mom and her friend came and found us and took me back. So then you're like on a probation, they call it away from home and then you're back to first phase status. No talking, no nothing. You earn your way off of there, go back home. 'cause now you also have newcomers and first phasers that you're in charge of.

Right. And I got to fourth phase. Ran away again. Took myself back I think. 

Brad Minus: Okay. 

Margie Allman: So, and then, then when I went back that time, I made it to fifth phase. They put me on staff trainee, which I really didn't wanna do 'cause it just keeps you tied into them for longer. But I did, and then I graduated, or seven stepped, but I couldn't get away because I was on staff.

So I ran away again. And then I went back and I was almost 18, so I was done. But I agreed to do whatever my parents wanted 'cause I was still a minor, 

Brad Minus: right? 

Margie Allman: So they sent me back to Florida and that's when they really showered me with the put downs and then sat on me and put me in, isolation. Then I turned 18 during that time and I was like, put in for my.

They would come talk to me in the room where I was in isolation and tell me how I was gonna die on crack and end up a prostitute and all this stuff. 

Brad Minus: Wow. That's Wow. How degra I, Hmm.

So, I mean, coming somebody that, that was in the military for not, you know, for, I was in the military for almost 10 years, and like, it's the first week of basic training that you kind of get put down, beat down, kind of told you're worthless in the whole bit. But every, every week after that, it's a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more.

And yes, you can degrade, you know, pull back and everything else, but then it's just a, you know, you get basically worked out to death. Then those consequences are over and then you move on. So it's nothing like what you went through for months and years, and to just to think that there are places like that, is crazy.

On the other hand, putting on an entrepreneurial hat and my MBA in any other structure, it's kind of brilliant because your employees are people that are in the program. So I'm imagining that your parents paid for this and had to keep paying for it, right? So your employees, for all practical purposes, your employees are paying you and you're.

And all the cleanup, all the marching the kids around and doing the staff. You said you were a staff member at five, at phase five. That's all being paid for by the parents. So your employee cost is next to nothing. You know, you've got your basic business support, but everything else, all the manual stuff is being done by people that are paying you.

Right? So on that stance, if it was done for good, it's a pretty damn cool model. But this is not done for good. This is, this place is evil. But that's the only thing that kind of went through my mind, that was trying to find something good out of it. But anyway, that didn't work out very well.

Alright. So you graduate, you pull yourself out of this. They say, oh, you're a skank, you're gonna be a prostitute and you're gonna die. What do you end up doing? You're in Florida now.

Margie Allman: What do I end up doing? 

Brad Minus: Florida when you graduated? 

Margie Allman: I was in Atlanta when I graduated, but then when I ran away and went back, they sent me back to Florida. 

Brad Minus: Okay. But wait, so then, you graduated, you're out. 

Margie Allman: I was on staff. 

Brad Minus: Oh, okay. 

Margie Allman: I wasn't 18, I wasn't really out.

Brad Minus: Their claws. 

Margie Allman: Claws. Well, and because my parents wouldn't have anything to do with me, like I was on my own, no matter which way I went. 

Brad Minus: Oh. 

Margie Allman: So if I didn't come back to the program and do it Right.

Brad Minus: Okay. 

Margie Allman: So, you know, it's probably 'cause of my mom that they stuck with me through the years till I did wanna stay alive. Like if he had had his way, he might've been kind of my way or the highway. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. 

So let's, so let's get out of this mess or let's, hopefully this is a mess.

This is the mess. All right. So when did you finally leave? Leave. Like, you're gone. You're done. 

Margie Allman: Mess goes on and on. 

Brad Minus: It keeps going. 

Margie Allman: Yes. I left when I was 18, got back to Atlanta, stayed with a friend. Okay. Was not doing well 'cause I didn't have any life skills. I mean, right. I could get a job, but I couldn't even have a conversation.

Like I didn't know how, without starting with, I feel, you know, I had no socialization skills. So I didn't do well, hanging out with my former high school friends and I called my parents and my dad was working with another Christian association, halfway house at the time. So I agreed to try that. And while I was there, I got epilepsy, like these violent, it's called juvenile myoclonic.

Epilepsy. Well, I got sick, I had a high fever, and they say it can just fry up part of your brain, right? So I started having these violent seizures. The first drug I was given made 'em worse. So to me, this was like another bad thing about me. Now I had a handicap, and it took like almost 10 years from the time I started having seizures.

I moved back to LA where I was born. That's where I met a doctor who could give me the correct medication. But it dumbs you down big time. It slows your personality, slows your thinking, makes you dopey. So I took as little as possible and kind of struggled with having seizures.

I, I want, I do wanna say I was already like in the gym when I got outta straight, my sister had gotten me into aerobics. So I already had the exercise thing I'd been running for. And I think that does something for your brain. Even if you don't know what's going on at the time, like it, it does absolutely give 

Brad Minus: you 

Margie Allman: endurance and 

Brad Minus: endorsing, you're better at 

Margie Allman: suffering.

Brad Minus: Yeah. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. So I did the halfway house thing, and then I got out and I just, I stayed sober for a while, but I couldn't articulate these feelings that had been building up from straight, like I now had this rage that I didn't know how to talk about it. And, and the family, the house I grew up in, we didn't get angry and you didn't raise your voice.

I couldn't relate to a lot of people in sobriety because I think because I'd been in straight, like, they were so strict on how much you had to change, you know, everything. And if you're not in touch with your feelings, then you're fucked up and we'll set you back.

And so, whereas I feel like normal people, when they go to a 12 step program or try to get help, they're just trying not to use the substance. But for me, it was this whole tear down that I couldn't get rid of. I couldn't get out of the. Crazy thoughts. My self-judgment, my judgment of the world. I didn't know how to fit in, you know, still the same things.

So I went back to drugs and for the first time in my young life, had friends that weren't talking about whether or not they stayed sober. And I was really wanting to be able to have, be one of those people that could have fun. But I, I couldn't do it without drugs or drinking or, and I just went straight downhill.

And that's when I did end up being a prostitute. And it didn't last long 'cause I hated myself and my sister told me that I could quit and so I quit. And then, then that was So your 

Brad Minus: Did she offer you anything? I mean, 'cause obviously you were doing it because you needed money for either just to live on or for drugs. So 

Margie Allman: did, she just told me I didn't have to do that. She said, what would mom and dad say? And I was like, well, they probably wouldn't want me doing this. And so, I just quit and well, then I became a stripper, which is no better.

That didn't last long either. And then I moved to LA which 'cause my, so my parents had been transferred from Atlanta to Texas and my sister and I were roommates for these years here, my early twenties or early to mid twenties. And then when my dad got transferred back to Los Angeles, he asked me if I'd like to come.

Brad Minus: Okay. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. My parents never let go. They, you know, they didn't know what to do. You know, they never let go. I think my mom was just afraid she was gonna get a phone call that I was dead. So, out there is where I found the epilepsy doctor and I met a guy who ended up being my life love, even though it wasn't the healthiest relationship.

It was where I fit in. I felt like I fit in with him. But I mean, at first it wasn't healthy at all. There was cocaine and drinking and, but I kept running and I kept going to the gym and actually we were together. Then I got toxic shock. I got a really bad case of toxic shock. My blood pressure was like 50 over 20.

Yeah. And they said, because I had been a runner and been fit. That's why I lived. So I was in the hospital for a month and then when I got out, I couldn't walk to the end of the block. I was depressed. And that's when my first job after the hospital was in a Pilates studio, which was a blessing.

I had done administrative work before, worked for a temp agency, been a secretary. I had a million jobs. So this turned out to be a very nurturing, healing environment. I didn't know anything about Pilates, but I met a group of women who didn't give a shit what was wrong with me. They had their own problems.

Brad Minus: No judgment. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. It was very cool. It was great. And then. That helped me decide I needed to break up with my boyfriend. And that's when I started triathlons. I could get up, end up in trouble, you know, just going back to bars easily end up in a la party scene.

And I didn't wanna run a marathon at the time. So I was like, swim, bike, run. That sounds good. That's like, changes your focus. It's distracting. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. So, 

Brad Minus: all right, now you're in my element. All right. So first of all, there had to be something now. Obviously it's near the water. Yeah. So that usually tends to bring on triathletes. And it 

Margie Allman: doesn't get super cold 

Brad Minus: You can travel, you could train all year round. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. 

Brad Minus: So like here in Florida we've got a pretty good, we've got a pretty good community. So, but anyway, there had been something that, I mean, you were a runner. Yes. But there had been, what was the cue? What was the, okay. You know, instead of drugs, I'm gonna go to triathlon. What, what was, there had to be some sort of cue in there that said, oh, you know, that, where was your first introduction to triathlon that you even knew about the sport?

Because even today, people don't know about the sport. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. Maybe my sister, because she was always into running. She had followed like old runners, Mary Decker, Slaney 

Brad Minus: Okay. 

Margie Allman: She would follow sports, I think. I don't know if the Tour de France was already on back then, but, oh yeah. I don't, she wasn't doing triathlons yet when I decided that's what I was gonna do.

Maybe I had been looking at LA for running groups or, okay. You know? 

Brad Minus: All right. Yeah, because I, I mean, for me it was, I was training for my, well, let's call it the first marathon of my adult, life. I did one prior and, a friend of mine was like, Hey, do you want to cross train?

I'm gonna do this sprint triathlon. Do you wanna do it with me? And I was like, oh, yeah, I've done one before that would be kind of cool as a way to break up the monotony of marathon training. But that's how I got introduced to it. That was where I was taught about it.

And then of course, you just got the bug. So that's why I was looking for, something. Did somebody introduce you to it? Did you meet at, were you running And somebody said, Hey, I do triathlons too. And then you started to talk to them and they said, Hey, you should try come out, blah blah something.

If you don't remember, you don't remember. Not a big deal. Do you remember your first one? 

Margie Allman: Oh, it was horrible. Yeah, it was a horrible failure. The water was disgusting. I had no idea what to expect as far as that heightened anxiety level, you know, at the start when you get in the water.

And I don't think I even finished. And it was super short. It was a super sprint. 

Brad Minus: Okay. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. And then I don't even remember my, my, I didn't have a good triathlon, like it started as a sufferer fest for me. 'cause the anxiety level was so high, like, so Southern California, you can find.

Sprints, like all summer long, drive all over the place. And I kept trying. So, maybe my first good race was actually, an Olympic distance. I was sick. I decided that the short race wasn't enough of a diversion for the training. So I was like, this is what the part of me that got in so much trouble when I was young.

I believe this is the part of me that got into triathlons. I wanted it to hurt and be as hardcore as possible. So, and a friend introduced me to a swim coach. So that was once I got, you know, when you're first learning to swim as a race for racing, it's a big learning curve. 

Brad Minus: Swim for Survival.

Margie Allman: Yeah. Or play in the water. And it was awesome because he was a good coach too. He wasn't a yeller. Like since then, I've met coaches that are into yelling at you and that doesn't work for me. 

Brad Minus: That's not gonna work for you?

No. It's gonna bring up more anxiety, which I get. Yeah. A good coach is someone that can, adapt to their athlete. I have a couple of 'em that I need to get, you know, I use words like, put your big girl pants on and, you know, you've got this.

Suck it up buttercup. And then I've got other ones where I've, you know, where I'm like, I'm like, you've got this, this is, this is in your wheelhouse. You need to believe in yourself, blah, blah, blah. You, you've just, just one more step, one more line. You know, there's just, that's a good coach understands that everybody might get coached a little bit differently.

And when you find that you can't adapt to that person, that's when you have to say, I don't think we're a good fit. And then find a referral for them to a different coach. But I would tell, yeah. Anybody, I would say, no, she is not gonna work well for you with tough love.

Margie Allman: But I will say that one of the things I love about triathlon is the whole suck it up buttercup. Yeah. Because I relate to that. I'm like, yeah, I can suck it up. You beat me down. I'll come back harder. You know? 

Brad Minus: Well, there you go. All right. So maybe I'm wrong about that, but it Well, not, but you know what I mean?

But it's, you can't, I, I get you what you're saying. You can't be derogatory. Like you can sit there and say, Hey, you, you know, put, I can say, you could say what I said, but you can't be like, oh, you're not, you're a nothing. You, you could do, you know, you're not, you're not doing this, you're not doing that, blah, blah, blah.

Margie Allman: And not to say you suck because you haven't shaved. Right. 

Brad Minus: Yeah, there's so many external variables in triathlon people don't even understand, you know what I mean? Like I have a cousin that I introduced and she's has turned into like her second 70.3.

She qualified for worlds. Yeah. My whole family is not extremely athletic. She's the one person in my family that like, for some reason, you know what we all lack, she got, the other day she finished one and it wasn't a terribly hard one.

And when she usually runs eights and eights and seven thirties on her runs, you know, she was doing elevens. So obviously something happened. I haven't learned what it was yet, but you know, those are those days, right? And there's other days where she, you know, she's doing five hour, you know, 4 hour, 45 minute, 70 point threes, and she's killing it.

There are those days when you're just, not there, or the wind is high for me, Ironman, Maryland, it was 33 degrees on the bike. With 30 mile an hour winds that brought it down to like, 20 degrees. It was awful.

Did you finish yo? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was, but I will say that when I was done with the bike, it's the first time ever that I was in the tent. And I'm thinking, I've already done five of these. I have nothing to prove to anybody but myself and blah, blah, blah. And for like, I don't know, 10 nanoseconds.

It was like, maybe I should just call it, just call it a day. And I was like, yeah, you never quit anything in your life. You're not quitting this, and, and left. But it was when you're, so the water was like 65 degrees, which wasn't bad. But when the air is forties and 43 and thirties and you come out and you drop that, you drop your wetsuit and the air hits, oh my God.

It is the worst feeling ever. But it also does something to your bladder, which is awful while you're riding around. It increases your rate that things go into your bladder and out, it's called pheresis. So you feel like you gotta go to the bathroom every 10 minutes.

It's awful On the bike, you know, you can't even imagine. But anyway, that's a suffer fest, you know, like we've been through it and you thrive there.

Margie Allman: Yeah. But I've gotten to where I don't need to suffer anymore, 

Brad Minus: I see. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. 

Brad Minus: You don't have to. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. I mean, so here's another whopper, like after the last Iron Man, I had gotten back together with the same guy and we weren't in a good place. 'cause all I wanted to do was this freaking triathlon and he wanted a girlfriend.

He had an accident that did not look life threatening. He asked me not to go to the race. This was like a week before the race. And I was like, what do you mean? I have to? And he died the day before I got back. 

Brad Minus: Oh my God. 

Margie Allman: So I left him to go do an Iron Man. He told me he felt like he was dying and I went anyway and then he died.

So that was almost 11 years ago. And so, and then my body was breaking down and I couldn't really, I couldn't do what I was doing. I did one more race after that. I moved back across the country to be close to my family. But you know, there we go. There I was hating myself again with good reason, even though I agree, there's no way I could have known, but.

So then I, I still use working out to cope, 

Brad Minus: that became your drug. 

Margie Allman: Yes. 

Brad Minus: You traded one addiction for another. 

Margie Allman: Yes. And triathlon was kind of like, I look at it like, it was like a cocoon where I lived. Like I didn't have to deal with a lot of stuff as long as I was in the triathlon cocoon.

And then my body started to break down and COVID hit and it was like, well, I guess I gotta deal with myself now, which is pretty much what COVID was to me. It was like this cosmic shut down and deal with it. And I met a friend who happens to be a therapist and she turned me on to some cool online self-help stuff that I didn't think I could ever deal with.

The levels of shame that I had and straight and all that, you know, I have learned in life that some things will never be okay. Like Alfred's death will never be okay. But I have also figured out to be how to be at peace with myself. I'm 60 now and I only in the past couple years have been able, like I read my journal entry a couple years ago and I wrote, I'm happy and I have never said that in my life.

And so with all the loss and oh, and I took up scuba diving and I, that's what I've started doing now. 

Brad Minus: Nice. So how many, so you were doing Ironmans, like full Ironmans, how many did you end up doing?

Margie Allman: I did Ironman, Louisville three times and I never crossed the finish line. 

Brad Minus: Where did you feel like you went wrong? 

Margie Allman: I think it was food. Okay. I just never ate enough. 

Brad Minus: Did you have an actual, did you ever have an actual triathlon coach? No. You got a swim coach? Did you have a club that you were around either in California or wherever you were?

Margie Allman: I tried, but I never felt like I was never good enough. Like they were always at the top of the hill waiting for me. Like with that, when are you gonna get to the top of the hill, you know, on the bike rides. Okay. It was a snotty group. 

Brad Minus: I was gonna say West Coast triathletes must be different than ours.

'cause our guys, even the fast guys, they'll be, more than happy. 'cause they just wanna be, they love the cocoon, but it's the cocoon of the club. What I mean, or you'll split up into ability groups, you know, where they go, okay, well we'll do group A, group B, and group C, you know?

Even if you end up having to wait, you wait. That's just it, it's just part of it. But yeah, I feel bad that you didn't have that good of an experience. Did you do some halves? Obviously you did some sprints and some Olympics. 

Margie Allman: Oh, yeah. W have you ever heard of Wild Wildflower 

Brad Minus: yes. It's the only 70.3 that, that, or one of the only 70 point threes that you can qualify for Kona. 

Margie Allman: Okay. Yeah. I did that like two or three times. Wow. Or I did the Olympic distance one year. I, the first year I didn't finish, and then I did, yeah. And then I went back and I did, and so. Or I did it maybe three times.

The whole thing is like a huge sufferer fest. Like 

Brad Minus: yeah, 

Margie Allman: the campground's up here, the race is a mile down the hill, and you have to carry all your, you know, prove how hardcore you are 

Brad Minus: Yep. It was great. No. I don't even know if it's around anymore. 

Margie Allman: I don't think it is, 

Brad Minus: but it was, and Vineman?

Yeah, it was one. Oh, Vineman. Yeah. And Vine Man's not around anymore either. Well, it's the, it's still there, but now it's called, Ironman Santa Clara. Or Santa Jose, or, anyway, it's not, yeah, it's not Vine Man anymore. 

Margie Allman: That was a nice course.

Brad Minus: That's still out there. Yeah, there's some great stuff out in California as far as stuff goes, like, Indy and Wells. Great course. That's a newer one, not newer, but it's about, I think it's about eight years old, nine years old. That's a great course. You run on a, you run on a golf course.

So it undulates pretty good. That one's really good. Like I said, there's, Ironman, I think it's Santa Clara. And, yeah, so there's a few good ones out there. Oregon is, north, which is supposed to be amazing. Ironman, California is supposed to be probably one of the fastest courses around, downstream swim, flat bike, flat run.

Margie Allman: Hmm. 

Brad Minus: So 

Margie Allman: I did the SEAL team, half with the, 

Brad Minus: yeah, 

Margie Allman: with at Coronado. Yeah. 

Brad Minus: That's cool. 

Margie Allman: It was cool. 

Brad Minus: All right. Nice. 

Margie Allman: Different vibe. 

Brad Minus: So are you, you said you were doing scuba diving. Are you still running, just working out, you get on your bike at all, you swimming?

Margie Allman: So my spine and arthritis have really altered what I do. I did become a Pilates instructor for 27 years, I do like, everything is modified. So I think this is a key to getting older too, is I can do a spin bike, but I can't do a racing bike with my neck at that angle. I can't run, 'cause I can't pound my spine.

I can't, I don't have full shoulder rotation for swimming. So I figure out what I can do to feel good. I still.

Probably work out for an hour and a half a day. It's just looks a lot different and 

Brad Minus: yeah. What did you, did a physician or anything give you a reason why you might have had all of this trouble? 

Margie Allman: When I had seizures, they were violent. I fell down the stairs a lot. I landed on my head one time, landed on my jaw.

Brad Minus: So 

Margie Allman: and then I have scoliosis and spondylolisthesis. I don't know, it just means that one of the discs and I've gotten better, like I've been working on building muscle, so I had hit a point where I was in a lot of pain and, but now it's better. So, everyone, we have got to keep our muscle or our fit lives are just going to like, be a thing.

In the past it's, and it's so. It feels harder 'cause it's, we're fighting nature, you know, as we get older, right? Like, but I do it for the mental, I still do it mostly for mental. 'cause I know, one thing I know is that I will feel better after I work out. 

Brad Minus: Yep, absolutely. We have to keep mobile. You've gotta keep moving throughout your whole life and you gotta get out of this sedentary thing.

Here I am, I podcast and I've got a full-time job and then I coach and the whole bit. The coaching gets me up and out. Even me, I'm like, God, I gotta get moving. I take a lot of walks and stuff. When I'm not training, I train in the morning, I coach at night or sometimes, depending on the season, I coach in the morning and I train at night.

But during the day, during that major part of the day, I'm at my desk either working or. Podcasting, editing, doing all the other stuff. So, so I get it, but you gotta keep going. That's standing desks, threads for walking while you're at your standing desk.

All that stuff is good stuff just to keep you mobile. Yeah. So I, I had one of my first clients, was somebody with, ms. And he was like, yeah, we started him swimming and then we got him running and he was like, I wanna do a half marathon. And then, well it was 5K, 10 k finally got him to a half marathon and then all of a sudden it was like he was doing one half marathon every single weekend, whether he did it as a training run or he found something organized.

Margie Allman: Wow. 

Brad Minus: After he got off my roster, which, you know, that's my business model to get off my roster, you know, I'm gonna give you the tools and everything. Now, if you wanna stay and you wanna be a habitual racer, fine. I'm not gonna, you know, obviously I'm gonna keep coaching you. But a lot of the times it's about, all right, I'm gonna give you the tools so that you can make your own, you could plan it yourself if you really wanted to.

So if when got off my roster, I bumped into him at a race that I was helping out with like, I don't know, five years later, six years later. And, I was like, oh my God, it was great to see you, and he says, I'm like, you still doing? Are you still doing a half marathon on a weekend? He goes, absolutely never stopped. And I'm like, really? And I used to work with his physician, and then I got him hooked up with a, massage therapist and a chiropractor, and his specialist. And we used to meet on a Zoom call.

Margie Allman: Wow. 

Brad Minus: And then for the first, I don't know, like six months and every month we would meet, the four of us would meet on a Zoom call, and we talk about where he was, what was going on. And before I knew it, he had, like, he, the specialist neurologist, cut his, cut all his, he's, he's like, I just cut his doses in half.

Margie Allman: Wow. 

Brad Minus: And then when I saw him five years later, he was like, yeah. He says, I'm on two medications and that's it. He says, and then this is the guy that used to every day used to take a handful of pills. And now he's down to two medications. And that's all because he keep, he kept running and, you know, he's, he's added strength training.

We do, we did a lot of band work, and it was all because he kept moving and that was the thing was keep moving. So what he told me was, yeah, I'm gonna keep doing them till my legs fall off. He goes, because I feel like if I don't keep training and I don't do this, the doctor's gonna tell me I need to take more medicine and my symptoms are gonna come back.

'cause like now he's the last time I saw him, he was symptom free. 

Margie Allman: That's insane. 

Brad Minus: Like, yeah. So it was, you know, and, and that's all just running, you know, he ran and like I said, we had band work and some strength work and stuff like that. But other than that, he just loved, he just learned to love to run, but he dropped like 18 pounds.

He was worried about his ankles, he was worried about all this stuff, but we just slowly moved him into this point. And now he's like, yeah, just run a half marathon a weekend. I'm just afraid that, if I don't, that my symptoms are gonna come back. So. Wow. And I'm like, that's awesome. It's not a bad habit to have, you know?

And like if you're happy and he's happy. So that's all that matters. Yeah. Yeah. So, but that's where it makes me believe. Gotta keep moving, you know, just, I agree. Gotta stay mobile. We gotta get out of this Netflix and chill attitude. We gotta get off our phones, we gotta get, you know what I mean? And off our tablets and away from the screens and get outside.

Obesity is at an all time high. 

Margie Allman: Yeah. It's way too easy to become sedentary. I mean, without even thinking about it. 

Brad Minus: One of our biggest sociological problems, I feel like, a lot of things would change in our world if the world moved more.

Margie Allman: You know? You're right. 'cause it has so much to do with the indoor, like good feelings and. Self-esteem and confidence and also getting out of out anger and frustrations on the pavement or whatever. 

Brad Minus: Yeah. 

Margie Allman: Serves some good purposes. 

Brad Minus: I've solved more pro I solve, most of my problems are solved either on a run, on a bike, in the shower, after a run or a bike.

Yeah. So that's, you know, and that's, you know, because after you've got a certain fitness level, you know, those aerobic runs that we do, they're like meditation. 

Margie Allman: Yes. And you, when you rise above the physical pain and it's a whole new ballgame, 

Brad Minus: So, but anyway, well listen, I appreciate you sharing that story with us. 'cause It is, man, it is something else. I don't even know what to say about it because you know what you've gone through, but you've risen above it and you're, you say you're in a good place now. Right? 

Margie Allman: Yeah. 

Brad Minus: Good. That's all that matters.

Margie Allman: Well, I have a place in Atlanta and a place, it's actually north of Atlanta, Alpharetta, and then I bought a place in Belize where I've been spending time. 

Brad Minus: Really? I love Belize. Oh, you do? Oh my God, yes. I love Belize. Been there a couple of times and Yeah.

So again, yeah, this is amazing and it's a great story. And remember that to keep looking up for her book, the Suffer, the Suffer Fest, how Sex, drugs and Triathlon Saved My Life.

And, you'll learn all about her story, a little bit more detail, get into, how she became a Pilates instructor and, you know, and her, her triathlon stories and all that cool stuff. So watch out for that. You are, in, you're on, it looks like most of the socials. What would you say you're on, more on?

What's more active? Are you on more on Instagram or Facebook 

Margie Allman: Instagram and Facebook probably equally. Okay. Yeah, great. Thank you so much for having me. 

Brad Minus: Oh no, you're so welcome. We'll make sure that those links are in the show notes. Also the name of the book.

If you are listening on Apple or Spotify or any of the other podcast directories, please go ahead and leave us a review. And if you know that, I don't even care if it's a bad review because any kind of feedback is just gonna help evolve the podcast and help more people. So, and that's what our mission is here at Life-Changing Challengers.

So again, Margie, thank you. And for Margie and myself, thank you for listening and we will see you in the next one.